Quotes by Doug Larson

The following are quotes from Doug Larson:

A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears the same may be true.

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enought to know they were impossible.

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's only one other choice.

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 AM. It could be the right number.

What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.

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